By: Mary Fran Bontempo
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Every year, I’m inspired by Christmas Carols to try my hand at song writing. Here’s my latest effort, composed especially for all of you ladies celebrating the Christmas season with the gift of menopause. Enjoy!

Walkin’ in a Menopause Wonderland 

Sleigh bells ring; are you listenin’?
Though it’s cold, my skin is glistenin’.
A frightening sight, I’m sweating tonight,
Walkin’ in a Menopause Wonderland.

Gone away is my smooth skin.
Now it’s thin and it’s wrinklin’.
My hair’s dried out, too. Is this happening to you?
Walkin’ in a Menopause Wonderland.

Since this started I’ve been really grouchy.
Now with Christmas creeping up on me,
I’m crabbier than normal, and always hungry.
A scary combination, so you see…

I’ll buy and wrap all the presents
Trim the tree, but then it’s my turn,
To sit on my butt, have wine and chocolate,
Cause I’m walkin’ in a Menopause Wonderland.

Walkin’ in a Menopause Wonderland.
Walkin’ in a Menopause Wonderland.

Hey! Drop those cookies, fat man; they’re mine!