By: Mary Fran BontempoTo hear an audio version of this post, click the play arrow below. “Walk it before you die.”“Don’t even. Nothing you do is going to make me happy right now.”“Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!”Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the sounds of summer—Darth Vader style.Oh sure, summer is the call of seagulls, the crashing of the surf and the laughter of children, but make no mistake, there is a dark side.The proof? “Walk it before you [...]
By: Mary Fran BontempoTo hear an audio version of this post, click the play arrow below.Breaking news! The remake of The Stepford Wives, starring Katie Holmes, has been suspended indefinitely.Production has been halted because Ms. Holmes has finally come to her senses and snapped out of a Tom Cruise coma after five and a half years of psychological imprisonment…er, marriage.Okay, before the Scientology minions start gathering at my door, it’s a joke. Kind [...]
By: Mary Fran BontempoTo hear an audio version of this post, click the play arrow below.Just make sure you pay us first!“Where are they?”“I don’t know! I had one the other day but now I can’t find it!”“I can’t find mine either! What are we going to do?”“No one leaves this house until we find every one of them!”It’s not stacks of hundred dollar bills. Nor is it bags of precious gems that [...]
By: Mary Fran BontempoTo hear an audio version of this post, click the play arrow below. Freedom.That glorious word that, as Americans, we’re privileged to revel in every day, but never more so than on the 4th of July.Of course, the democratic freedoms—of religion, speech, privacy and the ability to come and go as we please—are irreplaceable, and we honor and respect those who fight for them.But this 4th of July, I’ll be celebrating [...]
By: Mary Fran BontempoTo hear an audio version of this post, click the play arrow below.I don’t remember exactly what I was doing, but the conversation went something like this:My husband, Dave: “Are you enjoying yourself?”Me: “I don’t know; is this bugging you?”Dave: “Pretty much.”Me: “Then I’m enjoying myself.”June 20, 2012 marks 31 years of wedded bliss for my hubby and me. Of course, after 31 years, “wedded bliss” is a relative term, [...]
By: Mary Fran BontempoTo hear an audio version of this post, click the play arrow below.I think I’ve found the perfect Father’s Day gift for my husband.It’s not another shirt, or tie, or gadget that he will never figure out how to work, despite repeated efforts by the kids to teach him. Nor is it another book or CD, or a DVD he’ll never get around to watching as he falls asleep after [...]
By: Mary Fran BontempoTo hear an audio version of this post, click the play arrow below.Casey in her diaper. No, it's not too tight; she's just really fluffy.Take a look at the photo to the left.That would be my dog, Casey. And Casey is refusing to look at the camera because she’s humiliated.The debate over just how much animals feel and know remains constant, with all sides touting extremes ranging from they’re “dumb [...]
